Day 59: I Share Secrets With

day 59: one person you can tell everything to


The one person I can tell everything to is:
MOM!
Obviously! Friend, confidante, guide and my source of inspiration.


Love you Mummy!

Day 51: Wedding Bells

day 51: describe your future wedding
Hmm... In case people are wondering what on earth happened to Days 35 to 50. Well, I've fast forwarded my blog. Ha ha ha.
Well, jokes apart, I'm now on Day 51 but thanks to some bad mismanagement and joyfully hectic weekends, I'm lagging behind in my posts. But for now, I've decided to write for the correct day and fill in the missing ones later. As usual, I'll have to keep posts ready for the weekend but that can be done and will be. I feel another wave of enthu coming all over me and this time I am determined to see it through the end.

Coming back to the topic. I'm already enjoying wedded life, so I'll write about my own happy wedding to the Man who looks and behaves like an MB Hero. Oh joy!
First let me add a pic of the two of us in the main function to get things started.

As you might have guessed, that is not us! But minus the blue eyes and nose ring on the bride, that is exactly what we looked like. And obviously ours was a proper TamBram wedding complete with the exhausting two days of functions and rituals. Two days sounds fun when you are merely attending weddings and have nothing to do but swank around, smile and make polite small talk, eagerly strike poses for photos, elicit gossip and enjoy sumptuous meals. Not so when you are the bride!

Now imagine being draped in an unfamiliar nine yard saree, garlanded till your shoulders and neck are hidden, lots of jewellery biting into an already sweaty and on the verge of being makeup-smudged body, tears swimming not because you will miss everyone but because the agnikund is merrily blowing smoke and you are wearing heavy eye makeup instead of spectacles. I am sure your heart goes out to me.

Well, well, well. The thing is I enjoyed it. All the jewellery and fine clothes were making me look good. The tears veiled my impishness and for once, I looked every bit the traditional nari instead of the worse half of the Terrible Twins. The garlands and sandalwood and haldi prevented any BO (big no no on the Wedding Day). The makeup bit was closely watched by various sisters. Feminine attire and hairdos being such a complicated thing and the bridal heart being so fragile, frequent and strategic dabs and pats by sisters escape unnoticed. I had denounced my spectacles for those two days. (I love my scholastic style but it really jars with the cute navvari kanjivaram look. ) This proved very much to be a blessing in disguise. I am short sighted, so was able to smile magnanimously at everybody not on the dais and a little more intelligently at the really important people on stage. Besides, it helped that I was not able to see the hordes of waiting relatives who would keep me on my feet with a frozen smile in front blistering arc lights.

The wedding in its entirety was awesome. I love attention and being the bride, I enjoyed being the focus of every one's eyes. Plus, new clothes and a super efficient makeup staff and an extremely patient Mom (I love you Mummy) made those days breeze by. With lots of delicious juices being handed discreetly to the bride and groom thanks to sensible uncles from both sides and soothing parents, the festivities continued without any fainting or exertion which I was seriously predicting after watching many movies and live functions. (Just why can't the bride eat? I won't burst from my couture dresses in one meal!) And to top it all, I could finally glance at the Hubby to be who was till now only allowed to make phone calls. Geographical distances of 8K miles ensured that no meetings over coffee, ice creams  occurred. (We only met LIVE during the engagement. Yep, in this age!)

Anyway, that is the gist of my wedding. A typical Indian wedding, lots of gaana bajana, mantras and pheras, countless relatives, innumerable photos, lots of beaming friends and tearful family. Perfect!

Day 27: So Near and Yet So Far

Day 27: a person you wished lived closer and why


I really wish my Mom lived closer to us. She is an eternal optimist, cheerful at the most depressing of times, patient always and really fun to be. In addition, she is also talkative like me. Or should I say, I am like her. Anyway, she is articulate and insightful on a wide array of topics and is most fun to be. 


With less than a year of marriage and the wonder of living in a new country, I obviously have loads to share. The joys of new relationships, enjoyable trips with my new life partner and new city, the agony and the ecstasy of settling in a new home and  unfamiliar continent are all conversations I wish to exchange with my Mom. She, having experienced a similar time when she got married is sure to have some great advice and tips to keep the blues away and slip into this life even better. 


One more reason that I would love to have her close by is our interests. We both love books, nature, music and shopping. I do miss our conversations on favorite books and authors and artists. I long for our long walks where we soaked in our surroundings, shared confidences and binged on street food. I crave the shopping sprees and the bargaining sessions and the chase for the clothes and bedding linens that would best fit our aesthetic sensibilities and our budget.


I also miss her because we two would have had a gala time exploring this city and drooling over all the things we love. In the land of free libraries (one of the best things about this place) and scenic highways, I think I need such a soul sister to melt over all the splendid things I find here. 
Unlimited free books for 21 days at the local library. Wow! 
Great scenery and fall colors and enormous blue lakes and white beaches. Awesome! 
Quick streaming music at all times. Stations dedicated to my favorite artists. Ooh la la! 
And the shopping- to die for. With all the coupons, groupons and sales going on- I'm speechless with delight. 


And to truly empathize with that feeling of pleased wonder, I really need my Mom. Going gaga over the things I love, mooning over scenic spots, gloating over every purchased merchandise- these require a person who shares the same feelings of gleeful delight and uninhibited adoration. And the one person who fits this description is Mommy dearest. 


And that is why I truly wish my Mom were close by.

Day 24: List of My Favourite 10 People

Day 24: your favorite 10 people right now and why

1. Mom: For more details, read this one and and this.
2. AR: My twin sister. We call her SunshineGirl because it aptly symbolizes her cheerful personality. As to why she is my favorite person, one reason- She's Awesome!
3. Daddy Dearest: For being the anchor in my life. How can you not love a person who daily professes, "I Love You Baby. If you have any problems, just give me a whistle."
4. Hubby: My own TDH hunk is just adorable. For special moments that make him sweeter, read here and again.
5. Dimma: Babushkas cannot get nicer and cooler than this.
6. Thatha: For being the best grandpa in the world. I love your smile, your tennis prowess and your trademark Old Spice scent.
7. Amma & Appa- Best parents-in-law ever.
8. Mama: Is it any wonder that uncles are Double mummy when loosely translated in Hindi?
9. Mami: 'coz you twice as nice as Mama
10. BFF: you gals and guys rock!

Day 21: Better Half

This post is about all that I wished for in my spouse:
TDH - in true Mills & Boon style- tall, dark and handsome.
Vegetarian- I really did not want to impose my food preferences on some poor guy
City bred- since I am a Mumbai brat, adjusting would be easier with other metro people
Professionally Qualified- am smart enough to prevent ego conflicts
Young- seemed ludicrous to my parents, but I was firm on the 2-4 years age gap condition. They were mollified when I stated that a rigid girl like me had more hopeful chance of marital success with an equally young 'boy' not too set in his ways!

In hindsight, it seems a tad bit high handed to have set so many constraints.
But miraculously, my parents actually found me a marvellous TDH hunk who not just fit all the above criteria but also liked Stubborn-Feminist-Me! And he is TamBram too adding to my parents' delight. I think they were surprised and relieved at this miracle.

Anyway, almost a year into wedded bliss, I must admit that Hubbyji is indeed the significantly better half. And I can't help but feel blessed that I knew my mind and got what I wanted!
How about you?

Note to self: Thank God again for such divine miracles. Pray to keep evil eyes away from Hubbyji.

Day 19: Family

Day 19: your thoughts on your family


Home is where the heart is. And that is why my heart is eight thousand miles away with my family.


My thoughts on Family? Well, here goes:
They are a bunch of people you can turn to whenever you feel like ad know that you will always be welcomed.
You can be your own self with them. Good, bad and the ugly- they accept you for what you are and still think of you as one of  the best things that happened to them.
Grandparents who pamper you, parents to support you, siblings who tease, nieces and nephews to lavish affection on, doting aunts and uncles and gossip inspiring distant relations- it's a mixed bag but one that you know you love.
Family is forgiving.
No matter how heated or ugly the fight, you can always get time-outs. (Even if you don't; Moms will always impose snack breaks.)
For personal cheerleaders, turn to the family. They are perpetually happy no matter what you do. Well, all the important times anyway.
Who else can you blackmail with embarrassing stories only to have your own get braodcasted?


Okay, I shall end this post on this note. There is a certain bro of mine I need to call and irk. So long then.

Day 17: Indian Idol (Personal)

Day 17: your idol and why you look up to them


This definitely has to be my Mom. The reasons are many but I'll try to sort and list my top reasons and the favorite ones too.

1. My Mom has persistence and patience. I don't know of many eighteen year olds who get married, have squalling and stubborn twins in a year and yet manage to single-mindedly study, finish a doctorate, pursue a career as the Principal of a college and enjoy motherhood. Add in taking care of dependent relations, buying their own flat, building a home library and reading all those books, socializing with lots of friends, mentoring thousands of kids each year and you realize that she is truly one awesome lady.
2. Doing things backwards has always been Mummy's way. If marriage, career and college were not unconventional an order enough, here's something that I like to call her success mantra. We follow the alphabet as I, U, V. But for my Mom, it's always been the other way round. It is V- as in We can do it, U- for U are awesome and let me help you become more terrific and finally, I - translating to I'd like to help some more. Selflessly helping others is another reason that I look up to her in absolute admiration.
3. Her smile and optimism. No matter how hectic or grueling the day has been, she'll always sport a smile and a cheerful countenance. Despite being a khadoos* of the highest order, I have to admire this trait.
4. If there were an award for doing things with Effortless Ease, I'd hand it over to her. How does she make everything look so blessed easy?
5. I frequently focus on people's weaknesses and flaws. Simply, because I like to guard myself against it. But not so for my Mom. She always focuses on the inherent good in people and tries to instill in them the confidence to become better and follow their talents. And that is one more reason I think that my Mommy dearest id definitely the person I look up to.

*Grouch

Advantages of Having an Identical Twin

I had ranted a while ago on how people bombard me with the most outrageous and silly oft-repeated questions about twins. But I left out the good parts, the awesome parts.
Here is a list of all the amazing advantages of being one of identical twins. The list is not exhaustive but it does make a solid case.

With an identical twin, you get:

• a confidante for life
• Someone who always understands
• A warm feeling that someone has forever been with youg

Day 2- Healthcare At Home

Day 2: something that’s illegal but you think it should be legal
I think medicines - at least basic stuff, ought to be made legal and available freely. I really do not criticize the practice of selling drugs without prescriptions. I think it is a good step in countering drug addiction and aiding healthcare. But as somebody exposed to a different healthcare system all her life, this does seem a tad bit confusing and cumbersome.
Given below are two reasons why I maintain this perspective.
1. Impatience of a Patient:
To me it does seem rather hassling to wait for two to three days to get an appointment to the doctor when I am sick. I definitely am not in the mood to haul and cajole myself all the way to the doctor and then have to drag my self-pitying person to the pharmacist to get the required medication. And the while I am possibly coughing or moaning or sweating or aching and sometimes, all of these, and nobody cares a hoot because that is the procedure. Compare this to the family doctors who are always available, close by with medical shops abounding in every street and corner. 
2. Homely Remedies, Medical Advice and More:
I am one of those people used to twenty five years of Indian health system. So, it is extremely difficult for me not to long for the simplicity of medication back home. The minute I would show the barest symptoms of being under the weather, I'd have an army of people flocking to make me feel better. The women fussing anxiously and all the father figures pampering me. I'd be presented with an effective, however vile and foul tasting homemade concoction ; the recipe of which is handed down generation to generation. Next would follow OTC medicines with loads of advice from ancient  or/and female relatives of the pharmacist who usually mind the cash counter. In the unlikely event that my condition deteriorates, a trip to the doctor would ensue. Here I'd swap stories, symptoms and gossip with other patients seated to visit the doctor. The actual consultation would entail five minutes of check-up, two minutes of prescription handling and half an hour of serious discussion on symptoms- imagined and real, family medical history dating back to the Stone Age and brief updates about our lives in general. Indian doctors definitely ace in the bedside manner department.

Valentine Week - Mom

It's Valentines week. So, I am going to post about my favourite Valentines and why I love them so much.

God can't be everywhere. That's why he made Mothers!
Whoever said this was absolutely right. And that is why my first Valentine Post just has to be on Mom.

Contrary to popular ads and television productions, motherhood is no cakewalk. With twins, the troubles are doubly worse. And since one of the aforementioned bratty twins was me, I am sure my mother must have cringed many a times. But my Mom still regards motherhood as the best thing that happened to her. Am I lucky or what?

My Mom has a terrific elephantine memory. But when it comes to my errant behaviour, it's like she has amnesia. Like all mothers, she doesn't remember the late nights, the shrieking, squirming, pooping baby I was or the stubborn toddler who ran amok destroying things that I grew into. She only fondly remembers me as a studious teenager when actually I was moody, sulky and quite fussy. My good grades were probably the only saving grace. College saw me as a girl trying to get organized, become feminist, hate makeup, love accessorizing, and turn into an irritating and an excessively particular shopper. But mother dear always regarded it as growing into my character. She recalls only my degree, the scholarships, the job offers, the neat looks, and what she terms my classy taste.

I love the fact that she always is there for me. Even with a heavy workload, an aged mother in law and possessive husband, long commuting hours, time difference [ we are twelve hours apart] she still has the time and energy to talk to me and sound jubilant on hearing my voice. I adore that she can bear my lengthy monologues and yet, soothe me with a 'Oh, I've been keeping you with all my talk. You get on with your work. ' when I need to disconnect to get back to whatever I've been tinkering on. I wish I could replicate the happy tones of her 'Call me later when you are free.' when I know that she waits for her baby's call for a whole week and would love to chat for more than a scant few minutes.
Oh, I do love this woman.

What else makes her so special?
Unconditional love for starters.
The fact that she still is like a mother tigress around her cubs with me. Even though I've grown up into a big, strapping girl.
The way she fusses about my health, emotional well being, dressing and grooming.
I adore how she ends up being right all the time but never once pinpoints the fact.
How she never says I Told You So.
How she is always well dressed even after a ten hour work day and can sport a smile, soothe a fear and pat a frown away.
And her yummy home cooked, served-with-love food. Oh my God!
Her budgeting skills and bargaining tactics I find are as awesome as her diplomacy.
I envy the way she can see hidden talents and tweeze them out; how she instills confidence and boosts esteem in everyone she meets. [She works as the Principal of a college.]

But what I hold dearest is that optimism, that infectious joy for life. Mommy dearest, if I could inculcate one lesson from her- it would be the knack of facing life with a smile and a broad grin. Even life can't help but melt at such an attitude.

Happy Valentine's Day Mummy!

Hubbyji explained via the Zodiac

Hubbyji is Aries the Ram. Sriram. I kind of like this phrase.
Anyway, coming back to the point without much dithering [which itself is straying from the topic. Here, I go again!]

Ok. Typical Aries traits:

Adventurous - 

Affirmative

Energetic - 

Check 

Pioneering - 

Tick mark

Courageous - Definitely

Enthusiastic - Always

Confident - True

Dynamic  - Yes to this

Quick-witted - Guilty as charged

Hmm. Hubbyji possesses all these qualities especially the last much to my delight and sometimes, despair.

No dirt? While I love my handsome Adonis, my writing is no fun without a bit of gossip and slander. So, I decided to check if the negative qualities matched.

Quick tempered - Guilty

Selfish - Quite the opposite

Impulsive - Somtimes. Though spontaneous would fit better.

Impatient - Without doubt

Foolhardy - Absolutely not

Daredevil - Not at all


Hmm. This piece was supposed to be a sweet and spicy article on Hubby dearest in terms of zodiac traits. But it's turning out more saccharine by the minute [Less than a year of married life automatically hooks on rose coloured glasses] which is my cue to end the article. So long then.
Growl. [Translated as Bubye from this Leo]

Family Zodiac Trivia

Here are some trivia on me, my family based on our zodiac signs.

I am a Leo but am a Bheegi Billi with Hubbyji.
Being a Leo is my excuse for being catty!
Hubbyji's zodiac is akin to his name. He is Aries The Ram. His name is Sriram. {Hey, this has a nice sing-song feel to it like 'Bond, James Bond'! Cool!]
I was looking up star signs and traits for Leo woman when I saw that Leo has highest compatibility with Aries man. How I agree! ;)
My Mom is super-Cancerian. Her parents are both Cancerians. She is typical of those born under this star.
Mom's zodiac symbol is crab but she never cribs, never cramps anyone else and can never harm anyone. Oh yes, she is a saint. My antics taught her patience. :P
Daddy is typically Libran- organized and super-efficient. The balance totally rules his world os accounting and management.

That's a lot of silly trivia for now....

Twindom

As I mention elsewhere in this blog, am one of identical twins. Above is a picture of me and my twin at age six months.

For today, I write about the FAQs asked by anyone who comes to know about me having a twin sister. That is why I maintain that Twindom [if I may liberally use this non-existent word] is amazing and yet infuriating when you are pestered with the same inane questions over and over again.

Here's a list of the good and the bad. The retorts to the irritating ones I NEVER utter but ALWAYS THINK!

• Are you two really twins? No, you're just long overdue for that eye checkup. 

Of course, only exception is the middle aged gentleman who saw us AT the optician's while trying on his new glasses. That was the one lone incident where I was happy to myself furnish the statement "Yes, we really are Twins!" Lord, but was that man relieved.

• How do people distinguish between you two? They don't! They just guess.
• Do your parents get confused between you two? Nope. After enjoying the luxury of nighttime feeding, diaper changing, potty training, baby wailing, food tantrums, teenage trouble all in twos, I really do not think anyone would.
• How do you distinguish between yourselves? Um... Dunno? Really now, that IS the dumbest think I have ever been asked!
• Can you two telepathically connect? We went to the same school, college, worked for the same company, are now living in the same country. Plus, we both have the same phone plans - so calls are free and we hold Skype accounts. I should think we do not need to.

• Do you dress similarly? 

Plenty of times. And most people I know love to buy us stuff just so they can experience buying absolutely identical sets- going to great lengths to ensure this. Salespeople, I'm sorry for any inconveniences.

• Are all your tastes similar? We are twins not clones.
• Do you play tricks on people since you are twins? Actually, we never needed to. Most folks were confused already.
• Did you use your being one of twins to bunk classes? Do you even know how much attention you garner when you are one of twins? Do you seriously think my professors would not notice one of our missing beaming faces?
• Do you call in sick at work and ask her to go instead? And pray, who will do mine? 
• Do you fall sick when she does? We have the same genes, travel in the same circles. Is not the answer to that question logically yes?
• Does she feel what you do? 

This question I am convinced is inspired by too many movies on Twins. Bollywood and Hollywood both are to blame for this question to crop up unfailingly in most conversations.

Being one of twins does not entail twitching, dancing and doing everything at exactly the same time and in same manner as each other. We are not units manufactured on an assembly line. Stop believing  those countless dumb movies. 

Yes, we are perceptive to each other's needs and feelings, maybe more than regular sibling. We do sync easily and share a bond more intimate and warmer than plain sisters. Add our years of togetherness, of being complementary to each other and you get a wonderful relationship and a great team. 

But that is still no excuse to ask me if I will physically feel if you slap her? Honestly, how does one contain one's temper at such moronic but sincerely asked statements. I positively itch to reply, "Oh well, my hand instantly pounds you in reflex." Will that answer your query?